Wally vs. The Pizza Guy
Vote Wally Panther!
Wally vs. The Pizza Guy
Produced by Christian Monzon
Written and Directed by Adam Fike
Featuring Ben Begley and Bryan Kirkwood.
Filmed by Peter Castagnetti.
INT. WALLY’S HOUSE – DAY
WALLY PANTHER and his CAMPAIGN MANAGER sit across a dining room table from each other. The Campaign Manager filming Wally as he speaks into the camera.
WALLY: How was that? CAMPAIGN MANAGER: What?
WALLY: What we just filmed.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: Oh. Good. Real, real good. WALLY: Did we capture my potential for leadership? Because that’s something I really, really want to make sure and capture.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: Did you say you ordered a pizza? WALLY: Yes, I figured, you know, for sort of a ceremonial moment. As I pass the reigns over to you for the smaller details like that.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: Like what? WALLY: Ordering pizza.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: You said you ordered it already.
WALLY: No, I mean in the future. As my campaign manager.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: What? WALLY: The person who referred you to me, did she not outline the position?
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: Look. Your mom’s a nice lady. She comes in a couple times a week. She gave me a couple of bucks, said come over and help you.
WALLY: Comes into your law firm?
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: The Cast Away Lounge. Used to be called Alibi’s. In back of the Holiday Inn on route fourteen. Hotel shut down, but the bar reopened with a nautical theme. You’re mom’s a good tipper. Now, did you order a pizza or not?
The doorbell rings. Wally goes to get it. He comes back empty handed and worried.
WALLY: We have a situation.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: Look, I’ll buy the pizza. But I got to go in a minute because I have a shift tonight.
WALLY: It’s the pizza guy.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: What about him?
WALLY: I’m launching my bid for public office right now, and I can’t afford a scandal.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: What scandal? WALLY: The one where I could be linked to illegal activity.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: Like what? WALLY: The pizza guy.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: What about him? WALLY: He appears to be undocumented.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: Undocumented?
WALLY: You know . . . one of those . . . illegals.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: Oh. He appears to be one of those, does he? Well, then, you better let me handle this after all.
The Campaign Manager takes Wally’s wallet from his hand and heads for the door. He returns with the pizza, opens it and starts eating.
WALLY: Thank you for that.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: Not a problem. It’s my job, right?
WALLY: That’s right. Cool. Yes, all that stuff. Keeping our schedule. Tracking our budget. Speaking of which, we’d better start now. How much change was there?
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: Change?
WALLY: From the twenty in my wallet.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER: No idea. I just gave him the whole wallet. Figured it’d be best to avoid the entire scandal. Wally takes a moment to consider this and grins.
WALLY: Good thinking. Welcome aboard.
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